Single Ladies Saturday Night Out! Walk of Shame.
Oh crap! It's Sunday afternoon. How did I end up here, where am I, and who is this guy next to me? The last thing I remember I was leaving the club with my girl gang and we ended up at the taco truck stuffing our faces with carne asada. Where's my bra? Where are my shoes? Oh my god, did I just wake him up, please don't wake up! I'll die!
Where is my cell phone? One battery bar left. Fuck! I need to call an Uber. Echo Park? How did I get from the Sunset Strip to Echo Park! This is the worst morning of my life! I quietly creep out of this studio apartment on to the street. My Uber is waiting, and as I walk past a mom and her three kids on their way to church, here I am struggling to find my Gucci sunglasses to shield me from this California sunshine. I love the sun, but damn I wish it was May gray right now, it would help this hangover. Whatever lady, I'm sure once upon a time you were just like me.
I must have been roofied. Or maybe it was the ten shots of tequila I had for Jen's birthday last night. Just then, "You look like you had a rough night!" "What? Well, who asked you for your opinion?"
"Sorry lady, sometimes I say too much." "All I need is a ride home, I don't need my father judging me, okay Pops." "Got it! Sorry, you just remind me of my daughter when she was young."
I swear to goodness, I will never drink again after last night. Where's my phone? It's ringing, ugh at the bottom of my purse. "Hello!" "Hey bitch! Where are you?" Jen. It was Jen, I could just about ring her neck right about now. "I'm in an Uber on my way home from Echo Park." "So you hooked up with that guy from the taco truck line?" "Apparently, I did. Why would you let me do that? Your supposed to be my BFF, and you let me go to that guys studio apartment? What the fuck Jen?"
"You insisted, and how was I going to stop you? Anyhoo, we're all at The Griddle, we just sat down, get your ass over here stat! We got the private room in the back."
The last thing I wanted to do was show my face in last nights outfit. I haven't even brushed my teeth. But, I'm really hungry again, and I could use a little hair of the dog. "Fine, I'll see you in a couple of minutes. Save me a seat." Screaming on the other end of the phone, "Yay! Lisa is on her way, but don't act like you know she's doing the walk of shame." "Jen, I can hear what you're saying ya, know!" "Shit she heard me, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
"Can you take to me the Griddle on Sunset instead. My friends are waiting for me there." "No problem." This wasn't exactly how I picture my Saturday night, but this shit happens and I would like to forget it all! There's nothing better than being back with your girl gang, after a night like that to talk and laugh about it! I can't wait till next Saturday!
Disclaimer: This story may or may not be true, I will deny it until my last dying breath, I did not hook up with the guy in the taco truck line.
Where is my cell phone? One battery bar left. Fuck! I need to call an Uber. Echo Park? How did I get from the Sunset Strip to Echo Park! This is the worst morning of my life! I quietly creep out of this studio apartment on to the street. My Uber is waiting, and as I walk past a mom and her three kids on their way to church, here I am struggling to find my Gucci sunglasses to shield me from this California sunshine. I love the sun, but damn I wish it was May gray right now, it would help this hangover. Whatever lady, I'm sure once upon a time you were just like me.
I must have been roofied. Or maybe it was the ten shots of tequila I had for Jen's birthday last night. Just then, "You look like you had a rough night!" "What? Well, who asked you for your opinion?"
"Sorry lady, sometimes I say too much." "All I need is a ride home, I don't need my father judging me, okay Pops." "Got it! Sorry, you just remind me of my daughter when she was young."
I swear to goodness, I will never drink again after last night. Where's my phone? It's ringing, ugh at the bottom of my purse. "Hello!" "Hey bitch! Where are you?" Jen. It was Jen, I could just about ring her neck right about now. "I'm in an Uber on my way home from Echo Park." "So you hooked up with that guy from the taco truck line?" "Apparently, I did. Why would you let me do that? Your supposed to be my BFF, and you let me go to that guys studio apartment? What the fuck Jen?"
"You insisted, and how was I going to stop you? Anyhoo, we're all at The Griddle, we just sat down, get your ass over here stat! We got the private room in the back."
The last thing I wanted to do was show my face in last nights outfit. I haven't even brushed my teeth. But, I'm really hungry again, and I could use a little hair of the dog. "Fine, I'll see you in a couple of minutes. Save me a seat." Screaming on the other end of the phone, "Yay! Lisa is on her way, but don't act like you know she's doing the walk of shame." "Jen, I can hear what you're saying ya, know!" "Shit she heard me, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
"Can you take to me the Griddle on Sunset instead. My friends are waiting for me there." "No problem." This wasn't exactly how I picture my Saturday night, but this shit happens and I would like to forget it all! There's nothing better than being back with your girl gang, after a night like that to talk and laugh about it! I can't wait till next Saturday!
Disclaimer: This story may or may not be true, I will deny it until my last dying breath, I did not hook up with the guy in the taco truck line.
Comments
Post a Comment